Petido Orejudo

Get me a plane ticket, a camera, someone to hold the camera and a nine. We are going to South America!

General Guemes, in Salta, Argentina to be exact. Apparently, there is a gnome that “terrorizes” people out late at night on the streets. There be some videos for you to see:

Now this story seems bogus (like La Llorona). Here is why:

• There are only teens
• They are videotaping stupid stuff for no reason but to waste tape/space
• This thing never seems to actually attack or do anything but walk around
• They do not try to make contact with the thing coming at them
• The scream at the end of both videos seems the same
• The thing is moving slow and is 10 yards away and they start to run

Both incidents were covered by The Sun (1 and 2) and it reports that the mayor and police have known about the “gnome” for 20 years. Is it just me or does this reek of parents not wanting kids out on the streets late at night.

There are about four or five teen boys in each of these videos and this is staged or all of them are chicken shit. I know the dynamics of young boy groups, one of them has to go figure out what the thing is. None of them seems to get close to this thing and it does not seem to be aggressive. On top of this, the thing moves slow enough that you could run up and see the face maybe even take his hat and be gone.

In reality I think it is just a small adult who tries to get kids to stay indoors late at night so they will not start some shit.

My proposal: We go to South America, find this thing, and try to make contact. Say hello. Talk about the weather. Something. If it does not respond to verbal commands, then maybe it is something crazy and that is what my foot to its face is for or ultimately the nine.


::GR Ready for action::
those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well. -aristotle.

"40 Ounces of Malt Liquor Make Me Want To Tell You Something"

I have a problem when people tell me what they need to go to the bathroom to do. They say things like “I need to go pee/take a piss.” I do not care. We have an all-inclusive phrase to say where someone is going and we do not need to know what you are going to do there, we can assume that part.

Girls love to be cute about this phrase and say things like I need to go pee. Or the endearing I need to piddle. I do not care what you are going to do in the bathroom. Do your human function to expel waste, check your make-up, cry. I do not want to know what you are doing in the bathroom.

Guys are not any better about this problem. They make up dipshit euphemisms for urinating such as “I need to drain the lizard” or “snake” or some other animal that also needs draining. Sir, why are you draining a lizard? PETA would be ashamed. On top of this, why would you want to characterize you penis as something scaly or slimy that eats bugs and small rodents?

Both sexes are guilty (in my opinion women more than men are). If someone were to tell you they were “going to go eat,” what is the next logical question? Where? Stop telling me what you are going to do and tell me where you are going first. If I want to know what you are going to do at that place then you can answer the follow-up. Next time someone says one of the above mentioned phrases ask them where. Better yet, try to guess where. Your interaction should lead you to something like this:

Man: I need to take a piss.
You: Oh where? On a young girl? Okay R. Kelly! Make sure you get that little lady a towel after.

::GR Out::
fortunately for themselves and for the world, nearly all men are cowards and dare not act on what they believe. nearly all our disasters come of a few fools having the "courage of their convictions. ~coventry patmore~

Spend A Decade Or Two Shooting

What would you do if you were immortal? While it would probably be great to start out when your friends and family die you would be very lonely. We see immortals in the movies and most of the time they fight crime or are vampires. The two I have in mind are Blade and the chick from Underworld.

Now after I have read all the classics and learned every language I would probably turn to fighting crime. Now if I were going to fight crime (or other vampires or werewolves) I would spend some time, some decades, learning to shoot to perfection. Whenever Blade or leather chick starts shooting, they just spray bullets randomly no better than I could right now.

Now if you had all the time in the world I would take some time to shoot the bad people. They seem to be weapons experts and know how to fight but when they actually pull the trigger, they just spray and pray.

Another thing I do not get is that someone like Blade wants to help the human race or some other immortal. Why doesn’t he set out to cure cancer or some other ill? He would never age and he could learn all the science necessary and more. He could solve all the world’s problems. Why can’t smart people be immortal?

::Waiting For A Vamp::

my interest is in the future because i am going to spend the rest of my life there.~charles f. kettering~

Too perfect

I was going to talk about Rocky today but this was too good not to share:

::GR Out::
don't talk unless you can improve the silence. -proverb